Okay, So I have to admit I’ve had my share of dating disasters. I was reading some of my pseudo-journals and I came across an entry that totally made me LOL. It was about an experience I had with a certain guy that totally riled me up. But that is not the best part; while I was noticing the energy behind the scrolls and scribbles that clearly said “I am extremely frustrated while writing this” I realized the thing actually made sense! I couldn’t believe I wrote something like it…but hey, you do know what they say; Art imitates Life; and boy do I call this a PIECE OF ART!
There is a new breed of man in my world; and I think I shall call him “The Asshole In Disguise.” It’s the perfect title; the way he hides beneath a “nice guy” facade is incredibly impressive. His sporadic sweetness and thoughtfulness are his method of acquisition. His mysterious aura and aloof manner are his means of keeping women at arm’s length. As I sit and ponder about everything that has happened since the day I met him; I wonder: Which is worse, the obvious “I’m a jerk guy” or the subtle one? I believe it’s the latter. Compared to the last guy I dated, this one takes the prize. At least the previous one was “out there” and is quite aware of what he is. He’s upfront and pathetically predictable. Although he still tried to drop a few loads of crap here and there, he was easy to manage. I was pretty confident about labeling him as worthless and lacking substance. This recent spawn of male hybrid is the most frustrating. He doesn’t really do anything major enough to make you hate him. All he does are little insensitive, harsh gestures that leave me upset; but not enough to make me drop him. Then, he comes around doing a little of this and that, and poof…Hello again. They say shame on you if you fooled me once, shame on me if you fooled me twice. OK, I guess that makes me a very shameful person, but here’s the thing; fucking cut off my head if he ever fools me the third time!
How many of these rotten men are there? I thought that if I were to classify them; the labels would probably include: losers, assholes, players, perverts, creeps, dirty old men, afraid-of-commitment guys, workaholics, and then…nice, decent guys! But I have realized that there’s a whole new category for this particular guy I dated. Isn’t it enough that I have lost hope in the male populace? That Mr. Big or Mr. Right might not exist? Now, I have to be wary of the “great-at-first-wait-till-later” men? I guess I only have myself to blame for believing he was any different from the habit I seem to find myself unable to break away from. Why do I attract the wrong men? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says “If we are not compatible, I’d fall for you?” Is it my taste or the fact that I like a guy too fast? Is there a standard rate for liking someone? Maybe I should drop the whole spontaneous spark and impulsive “I like you, let’s do this!” act. Because so far, It really hasn’t done me any good.
On the brighter side, I have a few reminders to add to my DATING NOTES.
First, they are great guys until they finally get what they’ve wanted from the beginning. I think it is genetically engineered in guys to be sadly superficial and instinctive. If I was a harsh woman I’d say they are no more than animals who follow their urges and refuse to confront logic and rationality when it comes to women or specifically…getting laid; but I’m not, so I will stick to men are just simpletons.
Second would be to dump the guy the second you realize he is a bad liar. Why? Well, if he was a good liar then you wouldn’t be able to sniff him out would you? In this case, you’ll just have to rely on your guts. If he was bad at lying, then it’s a whole different story. He is actually stupid enough to attempt giving you bullshit and then fail miserably; no he is not adorable that way. Not only does it reflect his shady character and poor mental capacity, it’s also, in some way insulting. I mean, does he really think you are so dense that you won’t be able to figure it out? Think about it and then tell me if you really are THAT stupid.
Third, If he has a lot of excuses, then go figure! I’ve always noticed that when a guy wants something from me; he’d be the sweetest, most accommodating, agreeable man in the world. But if you want something from him or if you just need attention, he’s suddenly too busy or he’s currently engaged in some important business matter. PLEASE! L-a-m-e! But shoot me now. I was too caught up to pause for a moment and digest that certain information.
Drop a guy who can’t say something straight. I hate beating around the bush! If he’s concerned about my feelings; Fuck my feelings dude, give me straight answers! I’m not a child who’ll sulk and throw a fit if you tell me something I might not want to hear. And if he is doing it to play safe; store you on some shelf for when he needs you next, then girl, you better kick that boy’s ass straight to Pluto.
I am nobody’s toy so don’t play with me. I do things because I want to and nothing else. Never allow a man to think that he has you wrapped around his fingers. This is the new age! It’s the age of independent women. If having a man means you have to swallow your pride to make men feel better about themselves then who needs them? If he’s not the one feeding me; putting a roof above my head; buying my clothes, shoes, or whatever I want then what purpose does he serve? The new mindset is: USE HIM. In this world we live in; a girl desperately looking for love is naive and most-probably a soon-to-be broken hearted girl. Be practical. Think with your head and not with your heart; there’s a reason why it’s on top of the other. Sure love stories are all around us, but who would really know the real score? What counts are the experiences that you’ve had, the lessons you learned and how you apply those lessons in life. Don’t be the girl who keeps falling flat on her face.
Being single doesn’t mean you’re alone. It just means you’re not settling. You don’t need to force yourself to be in a relationship just to fill the emptiness when you go home at night and find that no one texts you good night, or wake up in the morning without anyone to kiss you good morning. You can’t feel sorry for yourself if no one special is constantly thinking about you. You don’t have to frustrate yourself with profiles of couples having their combined names at Facebook or that ever famous relationship status update that shouts: In a relationship with. These are not the reasons why you should be with someone. These are all shallow human wants and not needs. it’s society’s way of plaguing you with insignificant and unnecessary pressures.
Commitment is a big deal. So, don’t be surprised that everyone is terrified to be in one. It’s not like High School or college where you can be with someone just because…It’s the real world, haven’t you noticed? In the real world, you need to think before you feel. If you feel too much then you’ll end up being squashed and smashed into little pieces. Hold yourself together. You can never, ever be completely alone. You have friends, family, and you got yourself! Live for yourself and not for anybody else. Once you figure that out, getting over a date-gone-wrong will be easy as pie. Just like what my friend told me: “Dust him off and move on to the next one.” He might not be there tomorrow or the week after or the month after that. But hey, who’s in a hurry? You are a young woman, living your life to the fullest. How can you live if you are wallowing in your own misery? What’s the point? Let’s celebrate life…single life. It’s beautiful and free. And when you’re done with that, you can truly appreciate the moment you are with someone. You’ve played the games, you’ve put up with the chase. You have to think this way…it’s self preservation. So, as 2009 comes to an end; open your arms wide and welcome a new year; one that is brighter and more vibrant! Do this and you will definitely be alright.